WU HA NI

WU HAN NI DIARY

A Morning without seung Jo.
The morning shining sun is your face.

Hey Seung Jo.
I was always so happy with our mornings spent together..

The three of us playing around and racing each other to shower first.
The electricity that went through my whole body when our feet just happened to touch under the dining table.

Now that your gone everything seems like nothing.

I put effort and tamed my heart.

I, oh ha ni will let you baek seung jo go.

It seems like you have gone to where I cant hold on so before it hurts anymore I will let go of your hand..

My fallen heart doesn’t know. But I will put effort and pretend that I don’t know.

“No! I’ve forgotten seung jo. Baek seung jo has nothing to do with me.”

I’m not saying it to you.
It’s the sound of my holding my heart/feelings back.
I feel like loving you may hurt too much so I’m running away.
To a place I cant find my heart/ feelings…

Although right now no matter how much effort I put in to forget you. The memory of that one day keeps bursting out and it still hurts…

The night I came out in early fall, and the sound of my heart running while you were holding me. Also the sound of your heart beating.. the sound of crickets chirping, the stars in the sky were all exceptionally beautiful…

Still I want to forget.

The drunk me was happy while getting piggy backed against your back. Even if you teased me for having a small chest.

I want all the memories of being with you to be forgotten into a black hole. But wherever I am memories of you keep popping into my mind. Will I be able to forget you like this??

The night that will always be for sure in my heart.

the breath coming from your lips.
Your lips so soft and hot.
As if I drank alcohol I’m dizzy.
My first kiss…

Now I want to hide it all

The one next to you is a much better person than I am. Because she is a person that is similar to you.

A person like me…
A person like me…

I want to quit now.
Before my love becomes more painful.

But why am I like this.
Although I tried and tried to put so much effort.

I love being taught tennis.
Even though I know all you want is to win.

One, two, three.
One, two, Three.

I wish the racquet we are holding together was your heart/feelings.
Being in your arms, I wish I was your heart/ feelings.

Hey seung jo.
What to do.
Forgetting you is this hard.
I think I may just have to like you.

As training gets harder
You are entering my heart.

Suddenly you are getting louder and sitting there without knowing I’m there.

What to do…
What am I to do…

What am I seriously to do.
Dummy…

Although I tried so hard to eat my feelings and forget you the thought of being with you for 2 nights and 3 days makes my heart race.

Even though I’m miserable and struggling like this. squeezing a rock, pulling out a small grass is too strong. (this part was confusing for me sorry…basically forgetting seunjo is hard haha)

My poor love you cant even listen to my voice.
My poor love who can’t even protest.
Cant forget or throw away. (shes referring to her love “for” seungjo.”

You are doing something for me again.
No matter how unfriendly you are you have always listened to my requests.
Your kindness is always saving me.

What to do.
Again I am turning the path I should go.

Even though I know I’ll regret it.

I cant accept. Even though I know my heart will break into many pieces.
I am once again, standing behind you.

“I like you! What about you?”

Yoon ha era.
So secure and strong. I see how easily you can show seung jo your heart/feelings.

Its so hard for me.
Waiting for seung jo’s reply.

You are…

Baek seung jo smiled…
“Good Job.” He says

yes. He said those words.

With you I ran, rolled and haven’t slept for a couple days. It was so tiresome. But just hearing those words make it all worth it.

It means I will never forget this time.
The meaning of this sweat.

The blue waves are pushing away
In my heart birds are flying once again…

“Now?”
Are you worrying for me?
Baekseung jo for oh ha ni?

You couldn’t even get your revenge because of me.
Even the frosty voice of you saying this is the first time you have ever lost is still ringing in my ear. So that’s why I said I would help you win. I gritted my teeth and endured the hell like training. Im so sad because I couldn’t see it till the end. You let me on your back without saying a word.

Thank you.
Sorry.

Its warm…

It really hurts.
And I’m miserable…

Next to you another person is…
The time of yours that I wanted…
The sound of your laugh that I wanted to see…
The hand of yours I wanted to hold…

Its hurts and hurts and hurts again…

Slowly, slowly, slowly.
My ripped out heart with my decaying/rotting/ getting old love

Eun Jo Diary

EUN JO DIARY


Today mom was very annoying. She kept saying that we had to leave the house for an urgent matter. She called dad and we met at SoPalBok noodle house (OHN’s dads shop) and ate. She dragged me out of the house saying there was a big prolem….but it was just to eat food? Very annoying.

I’m really sleepy but my mom wanted to go to the karaoke. At the karaoke the adults only sang songs they knew so it wasn’t fun for me at all. I wonder what on earth my mom is up to?

Weird. We come home and its quiet. Talkative dummy oh hani isn’t here and big bro isn’t here either. Hmm? But suddenly dummy oh hani comes running out of our room. Her face is red… suspicious.

I go into the room and big bro is giggling to himself with the lights off. I ask him why is oh hani like that? He answers, “I’m not sure I wonder why.” and continues to look and his English book and laugh. Is English really that fun? Now that I take a look at him again, big bro’s face seems a bit red too.

I lay down trying to sleep but big bro continues to laugh to himself. Its so noisy I want to die. Today big bro, mommy, and dummy oh hani are all weird.

Today as soon as big bro heard oh hani’s computer broke he jumped up and ran to her room. Dummy Oh hani is crying and throwing a fit because her application may have gotten erased. My genius brother fixed it. But my big bro is weird. Since he was reading his favorite book, he wouldn’t even turn around to look at me when I tried talking to him, but when he heard dummy oh ha ni crying he jumped up and ran to help her. after he fixed the computer he should have left the room. Why is he just sitting in her room still? My big bro is suspicious.

Uneasiness…for some reason I feel uneasy…
lately big bro secretly laughs for no reason. Its cold but he keeps the window open. I tell him its cold, but he pretends to not hear me. He is so deep in thought and keeps laughing to himself while staring at the fork and card dummy oh hani gave him. The card says <> The card only has 8 words, if it were me I could read it quickly. Big bro keeps looking at it and looking at it and continues to giggle. He then finished his porridge and carefully placed the stuff in his drawer.

Uneasiness.
My continuously giggling big bro makes me uneasy.
The continuously intruding oh hani makes me uneasy.

Today big bro keeps bathing. Previously I saw him wash his face but hes washing his face again. His friend called him but big bro told him that he was busy today. Mom wanted to go to the mall, so i followed. Then my mom called big bro and said that she is at the theatre and she got stood up and asked if he could come quickly. Huh? Previously big bro said he was busy… Weird? He said he would go. My mom says she would be a good actress.

But I knew.
Why big bro kept washing his face. Why he told his friend he was busy today. Mom thinks she knows everything about big bro, but it seems as though she doesn’t know everything. Could it really be that big bro went to the theatre because of moms good acting?
I feel bad for my mom who doesn’t know anything.

I saw a very pretty girl at school. I didn’t know she existed till now. One day she just appeared in front of my eyes.

I was just staring at her during P.E. and got caught by dummy oh ha ni.

I don’t know what oh ha ni said to sara, but she was able to convince her to come over. I was so happy.

I showed sara my geometric toys, but she said they were boring and wanted to go home. I didn’t know what to do.

What do girls like?

Big bro came and played with us. Sara seemed to be having fun too and wanted to leave after eating dinner.

“ Oppa (big bro for girls), do you believe in love at first sight?” Sara asked my brother.

I was so happy. For sure I believed Sara fell in love with me at first sight. But…

“ will you wait just 7 years for me?”

It was my big bro that sara fell in love with at first sight. For the first time in my life I disliked my big bro.

I was always very proud of my handsome and smart brother but today I thought it would be nice if he was uglier then me.

Now I understood what adults meant when they say, “ don’t drink kimchhi stew.” No doubt in my mind kimchi stew will be very yucky ( I’m so sorry. I translated this word for word and I have no idea what he is talking about- Jiners)

“ Our eunjo is so handsome/cool~!” says my mom.
No matter how much she says that it wont work. Chi! I must be handsome/cool in her eyes because shes my mom. Sara has to be the one to say im handsome/cool for it to be real.

Sara only likes my brother. I’m really feeling down.

Even I’m JJang (the best) in school too. Why doesn’t sara like me?

I don’t ever want to see oh ha ni. I didn’t even ask her to do it but why did she have to bring Sara to our house and let her see big bro. Nosy dummy oh ha ni!!!

“ Eunjo, I think two people simultaneously liking each other is a miracle. Will that miracle ever occur for me too?”
Oh Ha ni is sincerely talking to me. Today she seems a bit like a normal person.

Because of my brother does oh ha ni’s heart hurt too?

Since I’m sincerely talking like this with oh hani. It seems as though I’ve grown a bit more (matured) tonight. As if I got taller after going through so much heartache.

Dummy oh ha ni left our house. Its so nice because its quiet. Sometimes it’s a bit lonesome because there is nobody to make fun of. It seems as if big bro feels the same way. Lately he plays with a weird cheap doll.

My mom has her hair wrapped up and just lays down everyday. She doesn’t clean or make food. Dad split the chores equally but I told big bro to do it all. I wanted to help him with the cleaning but I’m still slightly dislike him.

My tummy hurt really really bad I almost died. While mom and dad were gone I ate lots of pizza, drank lots of coke and played video games all day. I must have been getting punished. Luckily dummy oh ha ni came running inside and helped me.

After surgery it hurt a lot, but I met a new friend Nori so I was happy. Nori and I studied with big bro and had a birthday party too. Dummy oh ha hi comes everyday so its annoying. She tries to teach Nori even though she knows less than me. They put us in wheelchairs and while running through the hallways of the hospital the big sister nurse scolded us. Mae-Rong! ( what you say when Koreans stick their tongue out at people. Like seung jo did to hani after the kiss)

But it seems as though big bro has a lot of time on his hands too because he comes to the hospital everyday. Do college students not study?

Oh ha ni came back into out house. I got my room taken away again, but I can let that go. After all she is my life savior.

I lightly snuck towards oh hani and quickly said, “ I’ve troubled you a lot with this incident. Thank you.”

After oh ha ni came back big bro laughs to himself with excitement all day. But again for a couple days he doesn’t talk to anyone and is in deep thought all day. Whatever I ask him he doesn’t reply. What can the problem be?

My brother is leaving the house to live on his own. If it were me I would stay home because its much more comfortable. Big bro wants to go out into the world and try surviving on his own.

The day he left I stood at the door entrance to say goodbye.

“Eunjo, I’m going.” He says.

Its so sad I hand on to him and cry. Even though I’m hanging on to him big bro is not looking at me. Instead hes only looking at dummy oh ha ni. My big bro is weird. He doesn’t even say goodbye to oh ha ni. All he does is stare at her. Its really weird.

Last night I could hear oh ha ni crying in her room. I wanted to tell her to be quiet, but she was crying so sadly I just let it go.

It must be because of my brother. Since shes crying because of one of my family members I let it go. But why does my brother continue to make oh ha ni cry?

Does oh ha ni cry because my brother keeps teasing her? A couple days ago before he left the house he teased her a lot too. Truthfully I was the one who first discovered oh ha ni’s panties.
“Oh dummy oh ha ni,” I thought. If I went to give it to her I felt bad she might get embarrassed so I pretended like I didn’t see it and went into the room. But the weird thing is my grown up adult brother grabbed those panties with his hands and I could hear him teasing oh ha ni.

“did your growth stop in elementary school?” he teased

“ when I see you I keep wanting to make it harder for you~!” he said.

Why would my brother do something that even I an elementary school student wouldn’t do.
Why does he keep making oh ha ni cry.

Special edition playful kiss

<1 Year Later>
Kkong Dang Kkong Dang I can hear Hani coming up the stairs.
The sound of Hani coming back to my arms, my lips secretly make a smile.
“I’m Back”, Hani says in a cheerless voice (low energy, weak).
With the final stages of Hani studying for her test it takes lots of strength even protecting her from the side is pitiful.
Whoo~ She comes to my side as she exhales a sigh.
From my back hearing Hani’s heart makes me feel good.
Stealthily I lifted her arm and slightly gave the back of her a kiss.
A warm kiss was returned to my earlobe.
The short act of skinship that come and go is like the fatigue of one spring day’s snow melting away.

“Is it really hard?”
“Yeah.”
It must really be hard she is not saying it is not.
“Wash up and quickly rest!”
“No, I have to study a little bit more. Tomorrow is the last mock test.”
“Do you want help?” “No, I will just do it on my own”
“What’s up with that? You didn’t ask for my help.”
“It must be hard for you too? I heard you have a test on the nervous system tomorrow”

I am moved by tears (It is a form of expression- He felt touched).
These days I see this fellow think deeply and see an effort in trying to stand on her own.
For a genius like me the terrible studies of medical school are taking little tolls on me as I am fatigued.
The material to study for medical school is massive so no one should study alone.
Either form a study group and share information with each other or receive the Sunbae’s records and study from that.
There are too many things to memorize.
I am thankful for the name of love to recognize and consider this.

“Hani, continue after you eat these late night snacks. My goodness! How can it be so hard?
Just have a child living comfortably and sweetly instead.”

As soon as I fell asleep mother silently came in.
These days mother is busy preparing late night snacks for Hani. At any rate my Hani will become a pig.

“Yes, Thank you. You do not have to do this, you cannot even sleep, If I am hungry I will figure it out.”
“No, you! This is how I live. I lived so much without having fun as I raised those two stiff siblings”
Of course it is something mother would say.

Ook! Suddenly Hani threw up. Why is this?

“Why is something wrong with the taste? Did it go bad? I just prepared it”
“No, Just I do not feel well. It must be because I am a bit tired”
“You…By chance do you have good news”

Mother’s assumptions are rising. I better stop her at this point.

“Mother! Please stop chatting and go downstairs to sleep. I have to go out early tomorrow morning. You do not have to brag about your mother in law/daughter in law relationship everyone already knows.”
“Oh? Did you wake up because of me? Sorry! Hani! If you don’t really feel well make sure to take some medicine!”
Mother who lowered her voice begged Hani and barely left to go downstairs.
After hearing several alarm clocks ringing Hani did not wake up.

“Isn’t it time for you to go to school? You have to get up!”

Okay, Hani says but as she tosses and turns she has no strength in her voice. As I place my hand on her forehead she has a slight fever.
Thoroughly examining her I see that she dark circles under her eyes have formed and her face doesn’t look good these days.
It looks like she is sick somewhere.

“It seems that you have a fever so going to the hospital seems good.”
“Okay, after going to school I will stop by the hospital and come home”


“What do I do? Pregnant already, I haven’t become a nurse yet and haven’t fulfilled anything.
First becoming a mother. I feel like a fool.
SeungJo is also studying busily and suddenly if he knows about having a baby then it would be harder, right?
If mother finds out she will certainly say to give up on studying
Am I supposed to give up my dreams like this? What should I do?

I have a heavy heart thinking that I may not be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a nurse compared to having a pretty baby.
As soon as she came, mother poured questions at me.
It was apparent that she was anticipating something.
I just said that I had an upset stomach and went upstairs.
‘SeungJo, Hurry and come. What will I do?’

Even though I eagerly waited for SeungJo of course he was late today too.
Other students form study groups as if they were living together but since SeungJo is married he comes home even if it is late.
Will he be happy that suddenly we have a child in the midst of both studying and being busy?
While waiting for SeungJo a number of thoughts shook my feelings.
‘I should wait a little and tell him once both of our tests are over. Besides if I tell him concentrating on studying will be uneasy. Baby, I am sorry! It’s not that I am not joyous; it’s just that mom and dad are a bit busy. Sorry baby…’


“What did they say at the hospital? Are you okay?” “Yeah”
“Now next week is the test, are you confident?”
“Yeah, I am going to surely pass! For me, for you and for our bab, HMPH!”
Hani was talking but suddenly covered her mouth with her hand and stopped talking.
“What?” “Ah, it’s nothing.”
“Dull, You’re working hard, Pretty, My Hani! Just endure the hardship for a few more days.”

Drawing silent Hani by her hair into my arms I held her.
Soft breathes from Hani are felt above my chest.
I feel peace everyday in the arms of Hani.
Like lighting a firework slowly once on the forehead, second time on her earlobe I kiss her.
Slowly it is getting warmer. Like she was melting or soaking Hani was snuggling into my arms.
The faster her breathes got the deeper I wanted to snuggle with Hani but she slightly pushed me away.

“Why is something wrong? Do you not like it? It’s been a long time?”
“It’s because I am a bit tired, sorry, maybe because of the test I am tense.”

I felt restless and hurt but seeing Hani really tired made these feelings release.

“Then, let me just hold you and sleep.”

Why is she likes this, is it really because of the test? It seems like she has a worry these days, it seems that she has been under lots of stress from the test, I must console her somehow.


Even though I was in SeungJo’s warm arms and getting kissed I couldn’t deal with the worries that were like tides coming in.

What to do? Can someone like me be a good mother? I’m not the brightest, a scatterbrain, and accident prone and what if I also can’t be with my child like my mother?
I do not even want to think about this but this keeps piling up and is giving me strength.

‘SeungJo, What do I do. I wanted to become a mother after I fulfilled my dream and became a great person. Since it became like this-what do we do? Oh HaNi! Let’s stop worrying and diligently study!’


I thought she was asleep but Hani silently removing herself from my arms and sitting in front of the desk looks pitiful.
Noah’s snail showing great diligence to fulfill her dream, I am proud of Oh HaNi but seeing her suffer a part of my heart stings like a knife constantly cutting it.
I watched the back of her study without saying anything. Fighting my snail, Oh HaNi!
In a little bit she slid to the side of the desk and though time passed she did not get up.

‘She must have fallen asleep although she can’t even stay up late’

The wind blew by.
Thinking she would wake up I silently carried her and laid her on the bed, after picking out expected exam questions, explaining the problems gotten wrong and checked the problems you will need to know. This is my small present to your tired self.


Finally today is the test.
For now the baby and I have been overcoming this.
Because we were both studying the baby must be suffering as well when I pull my stomach a bit it hurts at times.
I am sorry I was surprised baby, sorry baby and once I stroke my stomach everything will be okay.
You must be very sincere since you will be like me. You would be very cold if you were to be like SeungJo.
Wait, what if you are like me so you’re not smart?
No. Baby please have SeungJo’s brain and my personality.
Please…I earnestly requested to the baby.

Do well on the test, said blunt brother in law EunJo
Hani! At least take a pill to clear your heart, said always very worried Mother
Warmly passing my lunch-my father, patting my back, one’s other father
Everyone gathered their cheers and gallantly came to the testing site.
But why do I feel dizzy? This can’t happen, Let me find more strength.
Baby! Let us both give it our all. Fighting to you too. SeungJo! Give us strength.


I was waiting for her in the front of the testing site thinking that I better take her out to eat some good things.
Fortunately the weather was not cold. You must have seen me from afar as you brightly smiled and ran my way.
Do you feel that good?
A smile that fills my heart like a full spring scenery and blossoming flowers you come running.
For a moment my heart flutters and feels content, suddenly Hani collapses in front of me.
Suddenly my heart plunges to the bottom.
“Because much stress received the mother is suffering a lot. The baby is also suffering so as the husband, please do well so stress will not be received”

Mother? I feel as if someone hit the back of my head with a hammer.

“Did you know?”
“Yeah”
“Fool, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were suffering as well from studying, I am also not prepared”

An awkward and hesitant voice came out.

“Then were you trying to have a miscarriage?”

Hani must have been very surprised at my angry voice as she opened her eyes big, nodded her head and said this while crying.

“I…thought this would be a distraction while you were studying, after we were done with our tests…”

“Why don’t you trust me? You are suffering all by yourself and I do not even know you were laughing around like a fool? Why are you making me into the bad person~!”

Looking at the tears that were about to fall from Hani’s eyes I stopped to say the sharp remarks.
Saying these remarks although I know the baby is roughly hearing them and while disregarding Hani’s eyes.
Baek Seung Jo. You have a long way to go…

While nodding her head, tear fallings, with an alarmed face and shaking voice…
“No tha…that is not it but if mother knew…give up studying…give it up…she could say that. I really wanted to be a nurse and be a good wife to you. ..(Sobs).”

Hani’s half crying half whining words and the duty to the baby has been weighing down my heart.
If she met a normal man then the baby would not suffer this much and would be content by what she has…
If I sought out more care for her…
A person who is becoming a doctor not knowing that his own wife is pregnant and leaving her suffering like that…
At once like a tide is rising liability is taking a strangle hold on me.
By myself what could I do to handle this fear and comfort the baby?
The words I’m sorry did not come out, I indefinitely felt small and was shabby, and all I could do was hold Hani.
And the times where I had to swallow my sorrows all came out at once, sadly crying for a while.
How long could that small body be in pain?
As a foolish husband the scolded tears that make bones hurt come out.
The tears from a man who let the wife he loves suffer all by herself formed in my eyes.

“Truthfully I was struck with fear. I feared that I would not be able to protect my child like my mother.”

I see. You were hurting more from something that I didn’t even think of.

“It’s okay. You have me. I will undoubtedly protect you. No matter what I will not let you leave me first so do no worry. Okay?”

A promise and a kiss.
The tears on top of her cheek absorbed and the tears on top of her eyelashes.
The tears on top of her suffering red forehead too…
From now on do not cry by yourself.
By swallowing all your bittersweet tears I am swallowing all of your pain…
The times of loneliness inside your tears I asked for them to all be erased.
Slowly Hani’s crying began to die down.

With a tearful face she tells me, “We still have to tell the parents?”

“No, with mothers aggressiveness we do not know how she will react and we should wait until out tests are revealed. Once we pass because it is a waste she can’t say that we have to stop studying. By the way! When you are pregnant I hear you want to try new things are you craving anything?”

“Are you really going to directly buy what I want?”

“Of course!”

“Thus far there hasn’t been a day where you have done so.”

Asking as if she doesn’t believe and with shiny eyes.
Was I really like this? It isn’t something I have thought about before.
Possibly even though I say that I love you I neglect the little things you do for me.
Again I am sorry. Why does love mean saying sorry?
When do you think a day will come where love is efficient enough not to say sorry?

“I want to eat strawberries. Will there be strawberries in November?”

“These days there should be house strawberries. I will buy them!”

For the times of carelessness I want to try and compensate for that so like the wind I am running in the November wind.

“Mom, Look at Hyung! Why is he hiding the strawberries he bought and running up so fast? How shameful, is he going so fast because he thinks someone is going to steal them?”

“What? Strawberries?”

From the back I hear EunJo expressing his doubt and mothers voice starting to come up.
I should have hid them and then come in.

“Here, I bought the strawberries.” “It took longer than I thought. Are there not any nearby?”
“Yeah, there weren’t any in the neighborhood so I went all the way to a big super market. I think I was caught by EunJo so eat them fast.”

“Really? Then we should both eat it.”

“Don’t share it. You eat them all by yourself. Is there anything else you want to eat?”

Suddenly spilling my heart like this Hani’s eyes look like the moon lighting up.
Within that moonlight my heart is spreading throughout my body.

“Hani! SeungJo!”
Mothers quick sense and voice that hit the back of my head.

“You guys have something that you are hiding? Answer truthfully~ Hani is pregnant, right?”

Followed by curiosity of going crazy one word stuck out.

“Yes”,

“Right? My premonition was right~! HA HA HA Why did you hide such a joyous fact? I feel hurt.”

“Truthfully…I…thought you would tell is to give up studying”

How much she felt sorry was told by Hani not being able to look at mother and respond with her head down.

“Hey, Why would I not let you study? You studies so hard that would be wasteful, when your cravings start it will be break so it is alright and by the time the baby is to be born in August it will be break again so it is perfect! SeungJo, as expected you’re a genius for perfectly timing!”

In an instant mother scheduled and balance everything. She is always busy.
Although she is so fast that it does become a problem.

“Do not worry and just give birth to a healthy baby. I will take care of everything”

“Do not have the baby wear girl clothes again.”

“No! I will never do that. Hani will give birth to a pretty girl? Right Hani~!
What are you doing? Hurry and contact your fathers. EunJo! You also think of some baby names~! Ah, we have to take a commemoration picture!”

The rapid buzz pouring out from Mother’s voice followed by joy that fills the whole house.
The suffering that has been released comes now the sunlight that makes all of you shine.

And to our baby too.
As the red sunset goes back the dark black dawn sinks in
One seabird was flying in between the margins of the sky and sea.
As I hear my bicycle tires scratching the wind of the fall sea that makes me feel good slides by my ears…
“Doctor Baek are you leaving? You are leaving late.”
The grandma collecting the fishing nets comes over to greet me.
“Yes. I am late because I am coming back from a house call from Father Lee, the village foreman.”
“Oh my! That fellow will now survive due because of you Doctor Baek”
“Not at all. Grandma, how is your back that has been hurting?”
“After taking the medicine you gave me Doctor Baek, I recovered so quickly it was frightening.”
“That is a relief. Once you run out of medicine, come and get a refill.”
“All right, but even if I do not go Nurse Hani matches the day and takes care of it for me. Where would you find a pretty wife like that. She’s Doctor Baek’s luck (lucky charm).”
“Yes! She is my luck. Please take care then.”

The boat that only comes in twice a day where the grandma and grandpa do not live
On this island Hani has more popularity. A young new bride following her husband
The elders love her (spoil her) even more because she came followed me here to this isolated island and is enduring hardship.
Thinking of what happened last fall a laugh comes out from the corners of my lips.
Instead of serving in the military doctors become a public health doctor for about 3 years going into a region and unit, providing selective service to a remote island.
I could have applied for a position for more land but if I have to do this anyway I wanted to work in a place that really needed the services.
I wanted to find a place where my work would pay off from the places that other people did not want to go in the smallest, most insignificant things.

I still cannot forget the look on my family’s faces when I told them where I would be doing my work, a remote island that is 5 hours away from Seoul, and about a 1 hour boat ride.
Hani at the time just graduated nursing school and got a job at a hospital, as she was going to come after finishing her 1 year of hands-on experience training but said that this was never possible with her distant eyes and did not eat for a few days due and cried.
Saying how is it possible to live staying so far apart and how she could not do it…
It is possible because I love you a hundreds of times more.
I was suffering more seeing Hani cry as I would be more pain being separated from you.

When the sun shines bright you open your eyes and give me a slight kiss on my forehead with your lips slightly open,
At night you look at me comfortably and sleep while I breathe heavily,
As you arm, legs wrap around my body…Your warm and chubby body,
Now without you I feel empty and cannot sleep… Like a fool…
And you think I do not love you more my darling…

After crying, not eating for a few days and making a fuss you said after you become proficient with your hands-on experience training and after being a doctor’s wife who is not ashamed you will come follow me, saying this while being close to tears and granting me permission.

When the day that I was to leave alone, you were trying hard not to cry as you bit your lips in front of the Incheon docks, seeing Hani, my heart tightened and I was not even able to say stay well and take care of yourself.
But to only turn around.

However after about three months, you not being able to live without seeing me followed me and came.
At that time hearing Hani’s footsteps that the whole house would know.
Saying SeungJo with the whiny voice…When you fall into my chest the scent that makes my whole body go crazy is what I longed for- compelled with nothing to say all I could do was accept this.

As I reached the official residence a bright, large eyed 5 year old female child quickly ran behind me.
Yes.
She is my daughter.

“Baek. Seung. Ha! Aren’t you going to come here? There is no use hiding behind Dad.”
“Mom, I am sorry”
“My SeungHa, What did you do again to make your mom mad like that?”
“Dad! I’m scared of mom.”
“ Do not think of taking SeungHa’s side today. She broke the game again. What kind of girl is so curious about many things?”
“I am really curious on what I do for the the sound and images to comes out!”

Whoo, You, caused another accident by being curious again!
Often these two people’s relationship is separated, today this has happened again.

“All right? Were you really that curious about it? But if you took it apart then you should assemble it back originally. Now, before mom gets any more upset should we put it back together? Which screw did you loosen last?”

Eyes filled with curiosity took my hand and followed me.

“How many times now is it? The clock, radio and finally the game console that Uncle EunJo sent you. Today there is no way! You need to be punished!”

“SeungHa, Let’s runaway. “
“Dad, Me too!! Ha Ha Ha”

A child and her mothers nagging, the child’s laughter that ripples around the warm house of mine.
Always my heart that is filled with flowers…

“Dad, play the guitar. I’m going to sing the ‘3 Bears’ song”
“Shall I?”

This one knows what to do exactly when her mom gets upset.

“3 Bears live in one house. The father bear, mother bear and baby bear.
Father bear is skinny. Mother bear is fat,”
“Baek. Seung. Ha. You, Again! Mother bear is not the fat one but it is father bear who is!”
“No it is not, in our house the mother bear is the fat one?”
“You, Repeatedly are making fun of calling your mom fat?”
“Dad likes mom to be fat? Isn’t it good if my loving mother takes over the world?”
“As expected my husband is the best!”
Lifting up her thumb, Hani brightly laughs.
My ways of loving are slowly going on more, means of being a husband. Recently.

After putting the child to sleep lying side by side at night.
A tired day turns to talking about minor things.

“How is Elder Lee?”
“Yeah, he has gotten a lot better”
“I was so surprised that day…”

He was in serious condition as his blood pressure was not able to be checked from the machine after running over there from getting the call that he was sitting down and then suddenly collapsed with no consciousness. Fortunately he responded quickly to CPR but his heart is in bad condition as he needed to go to a big hospital and get treatment.

“Even though he needs to go to a big hospital and get treatment, because he believes in Doctor Baek he does not want to go. If this continues what if he experiences a larger misfortune…”
“All grandmothers and grandfathers are like that. They think if they miss farm work for one day then it becomes a big hassle. Do you think their children know how they live by working hard?
“I know… Oh yeah! The grandma from Mokpo gave you a compliment today darling, which you regularly take care of her medicine.”
“Of course who am I? Don’t you think an absolute perfect, genius Doctor Baek SeungJo’s wife is capable more than just this (this is nothing for an absolute perfect, genius Doctor Baek SeungJo’s wife) ?”

Hani really takes care of the grandmothers and grandfathers with care.
Massaging the legs of grandfathers whose legs are ruined due to severe farm work
Checking off and delivering medicine to those who cannot come to the health clinic
Even directly giving a grandmother a bath.
Hani even practices my principle of ‘not to look at the disease, but to look at the person, a person treats people’ into action better than I do. This is my wife.

Pretty.
Slowly my feelings for you have come down.
In my arms your fragrance makes my lips quiver and quietly I expect your scent which makes my whole body quiver.
The more I look at you the deeper our love gets like the sea…

“Ring Ring”
Growing envious of a couple’s private time due to the urgent voice coming through the phone

How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You

According to my analysis and research (Comments are welcome , I need some for my manuscripts Thanks:"))

Do your homework on the guy

Find out things he likes about girls physically

Use mutual friends to your advantage here.

When you next speak to him properly, steer the conversation around to the internet or computers, and ask if he has Instant Messenger or any social network for more advance knowing

Stand out from the crowd (Do small things to get his attention, like if you already know him make sure you are always there for him if he needs someone to talk to or if he needs to borrow something.)

Let them feel manly!

Keep it real: be natural. Keep them laughing, smiling, and happy

Once you get a guy to like you, try to let go a little TINY bit so they can come. Ask your friends for their opinions if he likes you if you cannot tell. Maybe flirt a little with other guys

Don't change who you are! If you have to, he's definitely not worth it. Be honest, and don't be one of the girls that acts completely different around her boyfriend.

TIPS >.<

• Don't be afraid to talk to him. What's the worst that can happen?

• Remember that patience is a virtue.
• Be understanding. Listen to what he has to say don't go over him.
• Compliment him. Guys love this!
• Don't flirt with his close friends. This will just end up with fights between mates.
• Above all, if the guy doesn't love you for your personality, then he is NOT really in love with you.
• Never keep hanging on to him when he isn't interested. Men find it annoying when you show up at their house and just won't leave.
• Learn to take a hint. If the man starts doing something different while you are talking to him, shut up. Wait until he starts talking to you again or quietly help him with what he's doing. Don't try to force his attention to you.
• Don't put him in a compromising position. Men care about how you feel, even if they are not interested in you romantically. Don't force them to answer a question if they look uncomfortable with it.
• Be very patient. Men sometimes like more than one girl at a time. (If this is the case then he is not ready for a relationship and should therefore be put in the friend category. Fun to hang around with, but not deserving of the cookies.)
• Don't appear/be too easy, and yet don't be stuck-up and snobbish. A man doesn't want to think he's never getting any sex, but he also doesn't want to get it that easy. Guys like a challenge.
• Do not get between him and his friends. A man will always put his mates before you, unfortunately you need to accept this, or his friends might think of a way to get rid of you.
• Don't say you love him if you don't really mean it, they might become obsessive. Also, don't say those three little words until you reckon he loves you too.
• Don't EVER cheat. If he loves you and you don't love him, tell him that in a calm and caring manner. People get hurt when a man's ego gets smacked down.
• Be what he needs. Be sure to have that something he cannot live without, you don't have to be pretty to be precious.
• Don't put on too much make-up. Xmas trees are not hot. Natural is the best.
• Don't get an attitude when you see something on T.V. In fact, don't pull an attitude for any dumb reason. Men think you are immature if you have an attitude.
• Respect him if he respects you. Do not shoot down everything he says if he listens to every word you say. This is pretty much both ways.
• Don't get mad if he puts down a sports team you like. You will always be more important than sports.
• Be the jealous girl. Guys Like to know that you care enough to get jealous.
• Blush. Or pretend to. It's been scientifically proven that girls who blush when looked at make men fall in love with them.
• Don't make him feel worthless by ranting on and on about your exes. If you say what you dislike in your exes, he might be put off, as most men have the same faults, like leaving the toilet seat up or biting their nails.
• And most of all, be yourself. If a guy can not fall in love you for you just being you.. then he's not the one
• Do NOT be annoying and obssesive; if he says he wants to be just friends, accept it, but show that you're not giving up.
• Give him enough space.Let him hang out with his friends , and once in a while say that you can't come.This will make you find out if he really wants you to be around him or not.

DONTS Warnings!!!!!!!!!

• Don't look like a stalker! Therefore, only tell a few close friends you've been secretly watching his every move :)
• Don't look at him too much. If you do so, he might feel that you're too easy and will no longer be interested.
• If you wanna catch his eye do something but don't keep staring or people will notice and point it out the he get's put off.
• When he comes on MSN/Instant messenger don't talk to him straight away, you will seem obsessed and annoying.
• Don't, DO NOT!!, whine, complain or that will turn them off.
• Do not text them every day either, there will be nothing to talk about in person and will get annoyed.
• Do not text him over and over again if he doesn't reply to your first text. That will make him annoyed.

Bitter Sweet Love

Chapter One : ( Finding You)

Nakatayo lng sya habang nag mamasid sa mga taong dumadaan . Lihim na nag pabuntong hininga siya sa kanyang nadarama sa panahong iyon. She felt uneasy at what shes into right now.Dressing with a night gown in the middle of the park with nothing to talk to. Sinunod lang naman nya ang sinasabi sa magazine na nabasa nya kung pano maging attractive sa mga lalake kaso sa mahigit na dalawang oras nyang katatayo dun kahit isa man walang pumansin sa kanya.

"Mukha ba akong monster para hindi mapansin ano ba ang pag kukulang ko . May kulang ba sa damit ko ?" aniya sa sarili habang inaayos nya ang pink hat with lace nya.

Natigilan siya nang may kumalabit sa kanya mula sa likod. Nakadama siya ng kasayahan sa nangyari . She display a cutest grin and face at tinignan ang taong kumalabit sa kanya.

Hindi nya inaasahan ang reaksyon nakita nya sa taong kaharap niya para bang nakakita ito ng multo kung mag reak.

"Yes?" aniya

"Nothing .. Akala ko ikaw yung hinihintay ko." sabi nito at umalis.

Graduation is a very important event, so make graduation special for the graduate.

Bright Future
Now that you’ve graduatedNothing can stop you now. You’ve worked hard to get your

diploma;It’s time to take a bow.

Congratulations graduate!Your future looks strong and bright.May you achieve the things you

hope forAnd have a life of sheer delight.

We’re graduating, and we knowOur lives will be different and new;We’re going out into the

world,Our goals and dreams to pursue.

But one thing will never, ever change,As we go our separate ways;The friends we’ve made in

school will beOur friends for the rest of our days.

The special ties and attachments we’ve made,These bonds will never be broken;We’ll continue

to feel the closeness,Though words may not be spoken.

So it’s not "goodbye," but rather "farewell;"I’ll see you again, my friend.Your friendship means a lot to me,And it will never end.

A good teacher represents some of the following qualities:

• has to be interested in his own subjects and at the same time open-minded for others and other topics.
  
• has to be strict, self-confident and show authority, but at the same time he has to be the pupils' "helper" and quite often even something like their friend who they can talk to if problems occur.
  
• has therefore to find a balance between him representing an authority or a friend.
  likes to work with children.
  enjoys teaching.
  
• arrives in time to start a lesson and ends a lesson in time because of good organisation and planning.
  
• uses different methods to liven up his lessons and therefore keep his pupils' attention.
  has to gain the pupils' interest in his subject.
  
• conveys information and keeps the pupils' attention.
  has to be patient.
  
  
  

A good teacher still remains a human being like you and me so that it is obvious that the qualities listed above are useful to keep in mind to be or become a good teacher, but they are only few of the qualities teachers need to "survive" in their everyday life.

COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The evening sun falls toward the plain, coloring the sky red
Like a flame
The night sky is drawing the stars
one by one

Closing my eyes, I gaze deep into my heart
"Who are you waiting for?"
I'm listening to the voice
that I can hear from across the horizon.
"Come here."


The shimmering wind wraps around my shoulders,
as gently as a sigh.
I'm gazing at someone
walking toward me from across the horizon
"Come here."





He kicked a single shining stone
"Come here"

SEED OF KINDNESS

When I am lonely, I seek warmth
I trace far into the distance my dear memories
Holding her beloved child in her arms,
a mother sings a lullaby under the sun.
On the cheek of an infant playing in the dreamland,
a fairy makes dimples of happiness.
Even after being woken from a dream, a smile lingers
Such a seed of kindness remains in the heart.

When a stretched heart is released, it is able to fly
Its seed of kindness has been freed.
Before long, my eyes will see the festival floats and flowers blooming
and my heart will be carried to this beautiful place.
Someday, in the clear blue sky,
everyone will be able fly freely as high as possible.
Fly freely with flowers blooming in their hearts...

INTERNET

INTERNET
WORLD WIDE WEB

Internet is a network of computers around the world. This network makes available various services to suit everyone’s needs. The services available on the internet are the following. The email, the telnet, ftp, email discussion groups, Usenet News , Chat and Instant messaging , MUDS and the world wide web.

What really is a world wide web? A world wide web is a system of Internet servers that supports hypertext to access several internet protocols on a single interface. Almost every protocol type available on the Internet is accessible on the web. The WWW is a great help to the humanity. It helps us with our project, research and also communication. All of this are the wealth of information available at WWW. This wealth is worthless if we can’t know how to use the Internet, know how to search, select and use this information for the good. We must know the World Wide Web and also its corresponding uses

The wealth of information available on WWW is worthless, if we can’t know how to use it and also we can’t know how it will help us. This WWW can help us if we know really what it is.